Vivian Lee vs Jud Kennelly

Let me open this with the fact that it’s a surprise to me that I’m here.





I’ll be facing one Jud Kennelly, one of those fairly willowy looking young male wrestlers that have somehow filtered into wrestling and all of them look and talk vaguely alike. June, Jud, Jayremy, Jordan, Joseph… I’m curious as to why so many of them are “J” names, was there something in the water?





I’m digressing. It’s a bad habit of mine, I’ve never understood how I fall prey to it considering how hard I’ve focused on everything I do. Stress relief maybe? I’m uncertain of that, and I guess everyone has one of those things in their life. For a long time, for as long as I can remember? All I focused on was money. I knew to the penny just how much money I needed to support myself in case something went wrong, like an injury or a company folding under me, and extra ‘just in case of emergency’.





I used to strip, before I learned how to wrestle. It’s funny because I see so many people accuse female wrestlers of doing things like that or worse, trying to explain how they got a job or got a decent or better placement on a card, a title shot, special percentages of merch sales. Strip for the boss, get a bonus. Suck his dick, get a raise. I danced but I never whored - though I guarantee if I did I’d make more money than most of you will ever see wrestling because at the end of the day?





All you J’s just aren’t that good.





Please feel free to get offended and try to offend me in return. But I promise you’re not good enough to do that either.





Hail to the V.





I learned how to wrestle from a guy named Joseph Abraham Zimmerman, and I’d wager most of you have never heard of him. In the industry he went by Adam Magnum and teamed with a guy named Vic Valentine as The Triple Xxpress. They ended their tag matches with a move called “The Atomic Teabag”.





It’s just as fascinating and horrifying to watch as you’re likely imagining that it is, though the imagination doesn’t do it justice because you’re missing the sound effects.





There’s that bad habit again.





I’ve worked a few places, Jud. I’ve had my own interview segment, Vivian’s Mancrush. I’ve been featured on posters and once upon a time I beat the hell out of a guy named Matt Stone in a men’s room during a huge hardcore battle royal.





Met the love of my life during that thing, a guy named Samuel Amos, though he wrestled as Sam Infamous. We went to Australia to wrestle for awhile, and that was okay but… he needed time out of the spotlight. Frankly I was content to join him, but I was asked to come up here to be a feature performer. A one off as it were. Money will change hands, Jud and then I will beat your ass because I literally don’t care if you vanish off the planet after that cheque hits my bank account.





...oh my fucking God. Jud Kennelly. His initials are even JK.





Parents are cruel as fuck, ever notice that?





I had struggle that you’d think someone like JK could understand (dammit I’m not going to be able to stop contracting that to JK and thinking ‘joke’). I was born Hapa, half-Hawaiian, half-Chinese. Not really accepted by either, but when I hit puberty? I had weapons and I made people pay. It’s a fair trade to let a guy grab a tit if he beats the piss out of someone that called me a half-blood.





You’d think that would label me a whore, but I prefer the term entrepreneur.





I have a baby sister who wants to be a hippie and love the world. She hooked up with one of the biggest horndogs I’ve ever seen and when I tried to warn her about it, tell her she was being stupid, and that she couldn’t possibly love a guy like that, she ignored me.





Can you believe the nerve of that little bitch?





She acts like I’m wrong or something.





I’m sure that JK wishes I was wrong by now, but we both know I’m not.





I am abrasive, bitchy, rich and pretty. I’m also a beautiful woman that managed to work in a hardcore company and barely came away with a scar. I’ve got a man that would burn the world to ashes if I said so.





I win, JK, before I ever set foot in the ring against you.





But I digress again.





What a bad habit.